January 4, 2011

How to tell your friends that you're gay

I know that this isn't a bigger problem than global warming or violation of human rights or recession or drugs. Heck it shouldn't even be a problem to start with. Remember that you're coming out to your friends and not to religious leaders or whatever. These are your friends we're talking about, so they should stick by your side and support you here, unless your friends are closed-minded bigots, hmmm you might want to consider changing friends. 

Anyway, for some people it could be fairly difficult, especially for the yuppies who were raised in a conservative environment or those who have consistently projected an image of that of a heterosexual person. Still, it needs to be done.

1. Observe yourself, your friends. Don't take them for a fool, they might already know or at least have guessed it, (everyone has gaydar - maybe you just need to casually reveal it in passing. Believe me it is very interesting frustrating when I saw my friends pretending to be this macho man when in fact, they actually crave for this macho man.

2. Let the non-verbs speak first. Maybe you don't need to verbalize it just yet. Try showing it, act in a way that you would want to normally act- if it doesn't spell homo 101, then yes, verbalize it or just tell them the name of the person/s you like- or not 

3. Let's drink to that. This is actually how my gay friend confessed. He invited us to have a drink with him, he said we were celebrating something, for all we knew it was his rebirth as Yvon ROFL (Ivonne is a LOT nicer than Ivan). Admit it or not, alcohol gives us that push and courage to do something we normally won't- just don't cause a scene okay? You'll be an embarrassment, not because your gay, but because you're plain embarrassing, but hey it's a free country.

4. Talk with them privately. It is a serious issue for some so take the time to take it seriously. Find the appropriate timing.

You could try doing other stuff and see for yourself if it works. This is in no way a challenge, but a call. Hiding in a closet is more frustrating. You may be unable to tell how your friends will react but don't be disappointed when they initially react negatively, give them the time to process and digest the information, maybe their minds are still buffering. 

In the end, keep in mind that you have nothing, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to apologize for

It is your life.

Note: If you wanna come out to a friend whom you actually like, that my friend, I have no idea :)


  1. Nice one Arlet. :))

    Yung Comsci barkada ko dinaan pa 'ko sa interrogation kasi hindi na nila matiis, gusto na nilang malaman kung ano ba talaga'ng meron sakin. :))

  2. wow, so hindi ikaw mismo yung nagsabi, actually tatanungin dapat kita, kaso, nahihiya ako eh :D GYAHAHAHAHA LOLjk para tuh sa friend ko, sana mabasa na niya, naffrustrate na kame ng barkada ko :D

  3. HAHAHAHA.getting perfect with your blog. actually on my side, when I CHANGE MY SEXUAL IDENTITY (i am correct?)for the first time, i didn't proclaim nor told to my classmates and friends that I AM A TOTALLY A GAY. in that time im facing a IDENTITY CRISIS. means im not sure if i going to my girly-side or not . but since my environment is very UNCONDITIONAL, (coz my friends are also gay). NYAHAHA. I THINK IF YOU TRY TO BECOME A GAY IF YOUR GENDER IS GUY, IM SURE THAT BEING ON MY SIDE RIGHT NOW will ensure you that LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL AND COLORFUL

  4. Hi LG, I am very glad that you think life is beautiful and colorful!

    It must have been hard undergoing an identity crisis.


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