Do you know what you want to do in life, or how you want to spend your time before you die? Well, I don't. Back in grade school, high school, and college, almost everything was laid out for me. Wake up, go to school, submit requirements, have semestral breaks, occasionally learn something new/meet someone new, et cetera-et cetera; it was there. It may have been as clear as Dora's map. Thus, I never felt lost.
Fast forward to the present, I feel lost (again, HAHAHA)
The inner child in me tells me that she does not want to work, even more so to be a burden to her family or friends. She doesn't want pork's fat either. What she wants to do is go places, meet faces, and just live. You know, be a nomad, or be like Forrest Gump. Sometimes she imagines herself to be Forrest Gump, and she hears the lines, "run Forrest, run." That line runs in her head like crazy. Even now, I can hear it screaming through her head.
Maybe all these emotions are brought about by my recent "occupation" in life, a corporate slave. From the idealistic student, to the fresh grad, to the ever so loyal corporate slave. HAHAHA I guess I just miss the University - its people and culture, but I don't want to miss it so much that I actually miss this moment now.
I remember, I wanted to work for World Vision, but I didn't have the Christian commitment that they require; I let it go.
Again, I digress.
Into the wild- life after graduation is really journey into the wild. You fend for your own. Everything is new; everything is like a wild berry or a wild boar. Everything is wild. It's so fascinating and scary at the same time.
Don't get me wrong, I wasn't raised in a sheltered environment, but even so, it's different. I'm just thankful that I get to meet with my friends at least once a week, to take me back home - to the safe place, to our sanctuary- a place with no pretense. My friends, they serve as my moral compass. They remind me of who I was, who I am, and who I will be, and should be. They make me jumpy and giddy too.
I guess, at the end of the day, I'm alive, so I'm going to carpe that freaking diem.
It's not necessary to be strong, but to feel strong (Into the wild, 2007).
Careers are a 20th century invention, and I don't want one (Into the wild, 2007)
Reading my blog tells me what movies have made quite an impression to my young mind. Chos. HAHAHA
Forgive me for this post is so incoherent in thought and in pronouns.