|Me, myself, and I|
1. On things that matter
Lots of things happen everyday, and it may momentarily or permanently distract us from focusing on things that actually matter. I wanted so many things. In fact, x in definingx is symbolic of that. However, it is an empty dream to want so many things at once. Hence, this year, I shall be focusing on 2 things - my aspirations and the virtues that I stand for.
I must resolve to pay the price for what I want. And I must pay it in advance.
2. On relationships that matter
Two of my biggest challenges this year were (1) almost not graduating, and (2) not knowing, and thus, not getting my "dream job". One needs only to backread my blog to see the truth in this. I got stressed (and maybe even depressed) for quite a while. I couldn't think of any refuge then. It saddened me that when I picked up my phone to call help from someone, none comes to mind. I guess I was too arrogant to let my friends know of my troubles, or maybe I was scared of being judged, or maybe... I just didn't want to be a burden. Lots of nights, I've randomly cried over these now seemingly mundane hiccups in my life, hahaha.
I was morose. I had incredibly low self-esteem, and my perceived self-worth dropped tremendously. And you know what? staying at home and logging in my Facebook account didn't help either. I needed a breathe of fresh air. I needed to retreat. I needed to shout. I needed to go out with friends and talk about other stuff. I needed people to smile at me. I needed others. I need others.
I have met countless of people this year - established deeper and more meaningful relationships with some, grew apart with some, and rekindled old ties with some. It is always uplifting to reconnect with old friends (and is always heartbreaking to drift apart with current ones.) Bob Marley said that everyone's going to hurt you, you just have to find the ones worth suffering for. However, I dislike getting hurt. This is why I refuse to be subjected to such feelings. As much as possible, I will never put up with people who makes me feel bad about myself, never.
Also, this year, I've chosen a "new friend" award! HAHAHA, as the award title goes, this person became my friend this year only. She tries to be funny all the time; she's a good daughter, sister, orgmate, and friend. In fact, she may be one of the few people whom I can tell all my worries (I hope she doesn't mind.) I love this girl a lot! - even if she sometimes becomes too weird for company. But in all seriousness, I'm really thankful for your friendship. You are one of the reasons why I'm still sane right now. Cheers! Maine :)
It's almost 1am. Good night and happy new year, we all have work tomorrow, or later.