January 10, 2014

Diagnosing Oneself


"Maybe you are depressed?"

Asked by my friend during our little Christmas reunion last December. 

"I would never have imagined that you're experiencing 'quarter life crisis', you travel and go out a lot; I saw your Facebook account."

Stated another friend 

Aren't you too young for that, you're what, 21? 22?

Remarked another

For the record, I am not depressed. I don't even feel sad. I'm not satisfied with the present though - and no, it's not because of my relationship status. People who insist so are not listening, not to mention annoying. 

Well, that's about it. The quarterlife crisis never ended, perhaps because I never solved it a year ago. 

You thought I'll end this post with something like, "But it's all good now- thanks to all the people around me, and cheers a to a bright future ahead of us all!" HAHAHA, sorry to burst your bubble I'm still in the muddle, and it has been inertia for a while now. I think I'm afraid to take that leap of faith (which is ironic because people and surveys tell me I'm brave - see below result for a sample.)

I have a faint (and highly ambitious) idea of what I want in life, but maybe I'm still afraid to act upon it for fear of assured failure, and then judgement, or maybe I'm afraid to look stupid (society likes to make fun of average people who try their hardest or maybe I'm just judging myself prematurely - declaring myself a loser before I even sign up for the battle. This paragraph has easily become an unregulated thought space.) HAHAHA never mind.

Look, I recently took a survey on character strengths at viame.org. And my results are not at all surprising (a bit sigh-inducing though, because of my present situation.)

Character strengths of Arlet as of January 10, 2014 according to VIA inventory

1. Bravery
You are a courageous person who does not shrink from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain. You speak up for what is right even if there is opposition. You act on your convictions.

2. Honesty
You are an honest person, not only by speaking the truth but by living your life in a genuine and authentic way. You are down to earth and without pretense; you are a "real" person.

3. Judgment
Thinking things through and examining them from all sides are important aspects of who you are. You do not jump to conclusions, and you rely only on solid evidence to make your decisions. You are able to change your mind.

4. Perspective
Although you may not think of yourself as wise, your friends hold this view of you. They value your perspective on matters and turn to you for advice. You have a way of looking at the world that makes sense to others and to yourself.

5. Perseverance
You work hard to finish what you start. No matter the project, you "get it out the door" in timely fashion. You do not get distracted when you work, and you take satisfaction in completing tasks.

My least character strengths are love, leadership, forgiveness, kindness, and humility. I have qualms on leadership though because the survey describes a leader as someone who will prioritize peace and harmony in the group. If that is a leader, then that is really not me. Logically speaking, I think my character strengths (excluding honesty) according to the survey determines what a leader should be. Now you understand why humility is one of my least character strengths. HAHAHA 

Cheers to a good person! (even if kindness, forgiveness, and love are rated as my least character strengths HAHAHA)
Arlet

PS.

Happy New Year!

6 comments:

  1. Can't help but comment, HAHAHA. Anyway, hang in there. I've been there and I'm 28 now, but I'm just starting to surface from the, uhm, dark abyss. LOL. It's not a process that you could really skip. ;)

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    1. Hi, I will! Thanks for dropping by :)

      I read your blog and I think you had it worse than I have (or I'm just probably more self censored in my space)

      It's difficult for me to talk about my quarterlife crisis in FTF conversation because I regard it as "misplaced sulking." It's like I know that there is war on some parts of the world, people are starving in Africa, even in the Philippines, and here I am- not satisfied even if everything is going okay for me. I find it as an ungrateful feeling so I almost always end up stigmatizing my own thoughts.

      It's frustrating when you can't make peace with yourself.

      HAHAHA I think I might just be self centered. But If I don't think about Arlet, who knows what will happen to her.

      Have a nice day though!

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    2. Well, we can't do anything for the world if we can't even help our own selves. Sometimes the "misplaced sulking" helps when you find similar people suffering from the same dilemma. Compare notes, ika nga. Also a good place to let off some steam if you are the introverted type who would not easily open up to anyone offline. We all need an avenue to vent out frustrations, and I believe blogging is one of those avenues.

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    3. Yep, I agree. HAHAHA nice analogy on comparing notes!

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  2. Replies
    1. Struggle it is, then. Keep singing, Josh!

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